Many people have come to find out that their lives get much better when they have a member of the opposite sex to fall in love with, hence the question appears whether it is a good practice to mix dating and academics as a student.
Well, the question of dating is a matter of personal choice, but some key things could be considered before accepting or deciding to be in a romantic relationship whether at the High School, College or University level.
One thing that stands out for sure is that every living being needs some companion of some sort, but the caveat that hovers around such a conversation is whether or not it is the right thing to do as a student if you are to mix dating with academics at school.
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Well, after careful thought and sampling the thoughts of several students from the Senior High level to the tertiary level, these were the responses that were common throughout the conversations.
Mixing dating and academics at school as a student can affect your grades
Dating is a very serious business that does not just involve words or mere conversations. It goes beyond that. It involves total commitment to ensure that the enterprise works. At times, many have observed that in order to convince their object of interest, they would need to spend a considerable amount of time with them, just to gain their attention.
Picture of a student with poor grades
Sometimes, in some cases, these students especially the males dedicate so much time so that which affects their grades because they have very little time to study. In addition to this, the emotional commitment that comes with dating could result in many dire mental health consequences. For instance, lots of case studies have proven that some people get mad or develop psychological problems at school when they find out their partners are cheating.
Derrick, who agreed to speak on an anonymous basis, hence his name has been changed revealed that during his time as a final year student in one of the big mixed senior high schools, he was admitted at a rehab centre because he caught his close friend red-handed having sexual relations with his long time girlfriend.
“It was a Sunday, right after church service in school, when Schubert, one of my buddies in my dormitory block rushed towards me panting. He could hardly catch his breath. His tone was one of shock, as he managed to convince me to go and see my best friend Akwesi (Name has been changed) and Jennifer (name has been changed) making out in the bush as she kept crying out my name. Upon reaching the scene, and seeing her crying out my name in pain and ecstasy, I blacked out. The next few weeks were a torturous moment psychologically when we meet in class. At the end of the day, I ended up at a psychiatric home where my mind was reconditioned. To date, I don’t think I can forgive them nor fall in love again” he cried out shedding tears.
What if I don’t get the perfect partner after school
Many especially ladies or women dread the notion of having to wait to finally get the right or perfect gentleman. As a result of biological factors that do not favour women, many would love to date in school. Many have found out that even though their husbands were not necessarily their mates they had at school, the working-class men they were dating while at school came in handy.
Especially in a country like Ghana where employment is a huge anathema just like many other African countries and the world at large, dating or having a guy from your university or college whom you struggling with to make it in life looks refreshing. However, the danger arrives when after school, which is usually the case, the sort or category of gentlemen you desire are not popping up.
Gyamfua, a 33-year-old lady rues her lost opportunities when she was a university student.
“When we were on campus, I had many suitors including some of my lecturers who came forward to propose to me, but I was made to believe that when I’m done with school, I will get the perfect gentleman who has his good-paying work or enjoys a modest life to start life with. At the age of 26, when I completed university, what I witness is that it is always the wrong type of men who come my way. If I had the opportunity to go back in time, I would have accepted one of those proposals and started life with that fellow” she intimated.
Mixing dating and academics as a student is simply a waste of time
Many still recount very bitter moments they had as students who were dating. Some share their experience of the fun part of their lives as girlfriends or boyfriends. Some who didn’t have a successful relationship at that level have concluded that it is a waste of time. Some of the ladies argued that the probability of marrying your school boyfriend is very low because of several reasons.
They have also argued that a lot of student relationships is only an opportunity for the males to try their sexual prowess and boast of masculinity as they sleep around with several girls. Others also claim that these partners of theirs are not also financially independent to also support some basic needs of theirs and rather out of love for these guys, they spend their time, wash for them, cook for them at the expense of their academics only to find out that they are now second fiddle because of August rush, where they take advantage of many first-year students who may be gullible and fall in love easily.
“At the end of the day, you realize that you have sacrificed to gain nothing. All your efforts are in vain. Especially when they go for the first years, and still keep you around. Some are unfortunate and they are dumped till the academic journey ends” says Justina, a victim of “August rush”.
Well, these are just a few thoughts that have come out of such a conversation. Some believe that the best place to fall in love is when you are in school. Although a boyfriend is not supposed to cater for the needs of his girlfriend some have enjoyed the great benevolence from both quarters, hence would wish to be together till school ends.
On the other hand, some have bemoaned the lack of maturity that is displayed by these young lovers and it has its resultant consequences. So the question lies unanswered, based on your discretion, is it right to mix academics with dating?